lessthanabi

it's been more than two months since my last post and things have gone from bad to worse..just when i thought shit was getting better. note to self: never even for a second hope that things might be okay. right. so i have a boyfriend now and just when i thought he'd be the one to save me and make me forget i found out how wrong i was. im having dreams again..about Him. even tho he's so far away and we don't talk anymore and im trying to be happy with another guy..he just won't get out of my head. that thought is killing me..seriously it's killing me by the minute, and i feel so helpless. im trying so hard just to forget or atleast not care but it's no use. i just have to face it - i'll never get over it. there's just too many guys in my life right now, too many doors are left open and i need to close some of them. i need answers and i need them fast. truth be told i need Varna and time to think it through..tho this time that might not save me, it might even do the opposite - finish me off. i need to separate the real ones from the fakes, find out who actually gives a shit. i need a new start..not entirely new but i need to get my thoughts together and figure THIS out. the mind, mine in particular..it's a mess in there..