lessthanabi

maybe i should be more like you..maybe that'll help me forget..maybe just like you, i too won't give a shit. i'll forgive and move on without a care in the world.. but that's not the case, you see. i won't lose hope. i want to be able to say "i don't care about you" to others, yes. but not to you my dear. you, i want to care about, even tho you couldn't care less about me and 'us'. you, i want to never forget. and i want YOU to be happy. with or without me. yes, i do hope one day things between us could change. truth be told there's not a thing in the world i wouldn't give to just be your friend. GOD i'd die for u if i had to. it's unbelievably STUPID of me i realize that, thank you. but i don't care and for once i mean it. i want YOU to live your own life on your own terms and just smile while you do so. i need an ending and im not getting one so be it.. i won't live without the thought of you in my mind. i plea for normal between these four walls, for hell to take the night off. i am spinning and smiling, and falling. but the dark keeps crashing in. gnawing at me…the day. not even as satisfying as death, but just failure to live. hate would be a delicacy, just empty with nothing to say. you cant kill me. only i can do that.