lessthanabi

it's been a week since i last saw him. i thought i'd be strong enough but i wasn't. the moment we said goodbye i broke down like an old car that's been driven around too long. he was the same guy as before, the same boy i met almost two years ago and the same person i've always known. he hadn't changed a bit. maybe he was more beautiful than before but i couldn't tell, you see, i hadn't seen him for 7 months. i ruined another relationship cause i can't feel anything for anyone other than him. i honestly can't see where this is going, i don't see it's end. there won't be one for me. just endless pain and agony. history will just repeat itself with another guy and another guy and im just gonna reject them all. he acted really good when i saw him actually, like we were somewhat friends, he joked and laughed and talked freely. it's weird how we can always find something to talk about. i still don't know why he did all that back then and i don't dare to ask him, i realy don't wanna ruin anything, more than it already is. im afraid that if i ask he might stop talking to me for good. i couldn't live through that. you know im just waiting for that day i'll start living with the pain and controlling it, instead of leting it control me.